I am posting my response to Jackie's email first, so that you can read her food logs and comments with a new perspective on how to deal with food and alcohol self-sabotage.
Jackie,
Oh my darling!!! The ole' question of self-sabotage...I know it well!!!
Here is what you can concentrate on...how horrible you felt...and how you do not want to feel so awful again. The more you have these self- sabotage-attacks...the more it will become less attractive. Meaning...you have to get to the point where the good feeling outweighs the bad feeling. Keep on track with the good eating long enough...and the bad eating will stop before you even start because you will have trauma recall of the heartburn and guilt and feeling awful. I LOVE that you found Instacart...I am going to check it out...it sounds great. And planning ahead is perfect. Have you looked at the menus for when you go out of town? Checking out menus ahead of time of places you will be eating is a great way to be prepared. It helps to go in with a plan. If you already know what you can order, once you are there you can focus on the company of friends and not stress over making food choices in the moment. Think about the holidays, make sure you do not fall into a trap of holiday eating for the whole month. Choose the days that you will enjoy the food and drinks but make sure it is limited. The problem becomes when you tell yourself that the holiday eating/drinking is from Thanksgiving until New Year's Eve!!! I recommend knowing you will eat and be merry on Thanksgiving day, Christmas Day and New Year's Eve OR Day. Let's plan this out together and make sure you feel good about your choices!!!
Deborah
Deborah,
I Should preface the weekend…it was a very social weekend, which lead to very bad weekend, and I felt awful and horrible heart burn on Saturday, but kept going on a binge bad eating session. Friday night had friends over for birthday dinner celebration, Saturday we met up Nick's sisters for a dinner and walking to zoo lights. Never would have made the workout Friday, I was supposed to leave the warehouse by 3pm, didn't leave till almost 5pm, and as a result I was running around like a crazy person and dinner was late.
Friday-
8:30am- Deb's oatmeal
1pm- pizza with prosciutto and basil- they had personal pizzas and I ate the whole thing :(
4pm- peanut butter cookie Lara bar
8pm- appetizers- crackers with salami and boursin cheese :(
9pm- beef mexicano (like beef stew, cooked in casserole dish in oven for 3 hours with onions, tomatoes, 1TBSP jam, honey, and chutney), mashed potatoes (mixed with smart balance butter, light cream cheese with chives, Canadian bacon, sprinkled shredded cheese.
Slice chocolate cake. This evening had 2-3 gin and tonics, 3 glasses red wine.
Woke up Sat. morning not feeling great, heartburn, felt gross. So started morning off good with food and gym, then spiraled downhill again.
Saturday-
11am- 2 slices Ezekiel bread with turkey and 2 over easy eggs, guac and salsa on top
2-3pm- went to gym…glimpse of a good part on a bad day
3pm- coffee with skim milk and truvia
4pm- left over beef mexicano with mashed potatoes- BAD MOVE
6pm- 5 pastor tacos from big star (pork, onion, pineapple, and cilantro on corn tortilla). 3 skinny girl margaritas- REALLY BAD MOVE
7-9pm- spiced cider with rum, 3 cupcakes :( - SUPER BAD MOVE
Sat. I felt bad, but then I ate a bunch of crap again. Sat. night I felt so bad I was taking acid reducers, but still felt like crap up until I went to bed. Only redeeming part about this day, other than gym, was I walked 25,000 steps (my goal each day is 10,000), which was about 12 miles.
Sunday-
Woke up this morning feeling good, no heartburn. Having shake for breakfast, and I think I will have one for lunch. Going to do a Deb cleanse!
This morning I also placed an order on Instacart (like Peapod, but goes to Whole Foods, Mariano's, and Costco). Ordered food for the week that is all Deb approved. I am going to make home made turkey chili for the week as well to replace the canned stuff I was eating.
Hoping this week is better, I want to get back on track, I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself.
Jackie
