I'M DEPRESSED, NOT LAZY

MONDAY MORNING POST- WHAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT; WHY I FEEL AWFUL AND WHY I AM OKAY WITH IT...CONSEQUENCE VS. ACTION

                               

Last night I went to a very close friend's wedding. For the last year we have talked about all the decisions she had to make about every little detail, including all the food. This was at the Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago. Yes, one of Chicago's finest. After she had her food tastings and chose the  appetizers that were passed around, the breads that were offered, the entrees that were served, wedding cake to be eaten, sweet treats for the dessert table and massive amounts of candy to be taken home by each guest, she explained each in detail. So, for a a few months I had this to look forward to and to panic about. I looked forward to the joy of being there to see my friend get married. I looked forward to being able to share this experience and talk about every detail with her after the big day. I panicked about having to dress up, which I have never enjoyed. And, at first, I panicked about the amount of unhealthy, sugar-filled, white-flour based foods that would be served. See, I love these types of foods  but I know when I eat them, I feel horrible the next day. I feel physically bloated, my mood is low, I get bad headaches and my eyes get so puffy I can hardly open them. Yes, this all happens because my body is not used to eating a lot of refined sugars and white-flour starches. As much as I love how they taste (not just love, I could live on just  white-flour breads and chocolate, forever)  I have chosen not to eat them very often due to how I feel, physically, mentally and aesthetically. However, this time, for the wedding, I took the advice that I give all my clients. I put the consequence BEFORE the action. I had a wonderful talk with myself in the morning before the wedding that evening. I thought about the food. I knew what was going to be served and I made a deal with myself. This was going to be an evening that I enjoy without any restrictions. I made my decision that even though I knew I might feel physically, mentally and aesthetically bad from all the sugar/white-flour starch, I would enjoy it all and deal with the consequences and get back to my healthy eating the next day. By thinking ahead and making this decision in the morning, I went to the wedding fully prepared to have an amazing time watching my friend get married and enjoying the incredible food served by the Four Seasons Hotel and hand picked by the bride.  I went. I watched. I enjoyed. Do I feel horrible this morning. Yes. Am I bloated, do I have a headache, is my energy and mood low, are my eyes so puffy I can hardly open them? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. Did it make a huge difference to think ahead to know what the consequences would be so I could be fully aware and prepared for them today. YES!!! There are no regrets, no guilty feelings , no angry feelings toward myself for overindulging. So, remember, consequence (talk to yourself and be aware of what will happen) BEFORE action (eating foods that make you feel physically, mentally and aesthetically bad.) I am left with only  memories of a great evening of joy and celebration. And am I ready to go workout today  and eat my chicken and broccoli tonight? YES!!! I like taking my own advice. :)

YOU ARE NOT ALONE: EXCERPTS FROM MY EMAIL SUPPORT GROUP ON EATING, DRINKING AND BODY IMAGE.

To my followers,

I am going to start sprinkling in  excerpts from past emails/support groups that I know will be helpful and inspiring, along with the food logs. I feel like I have opened an attic and have found a box full of old letters. These are golden letters/emails because there is so much honesty about emotional eating, questioning alcohol consumption/excess and body image issues. When I read these (this particular thread was from 12/2013) it just reminds me how incredibly blessed I am to work with clients who can be honest with themselves and with me and work on figuring out their own solutions.

Hey my friends,

In the last week I have had conversations about the struggles of food/exercise and body image  with 4 different clients that ended with "Am I the only one who feels this way? Do any of your other clients feel as crazy in the head for being out-of-control with my eating? Do they feel the same shame, guilt, self-sabotage and worthlessness around food and their bodies?"

And my answer was...YES...we all feel this way...or have felt this way and we all struggle with these issues. I include myself because I have the same struggles...I have learned how to deal with them and have learned healthy ways of working with them...but they are still there...and always will be.

It made me realize that I want a support group for all of you...to share, listen, scream, cry, laugh and to help each other in this struggle. Instead of trying to get everyone together, I thought doing an email support group would be the best way to get everyone involved. NOW...you all know I am NOT good with technology...so any suggestions of ways to do this that are easier than emailing...please let me know. But for now...who is willing to be a part of this conversation?

It is so painful to hear 4 clients in one week say how much they hate themselves for eating too much...for gaining weight...for losing control...yet, I know that feeling. Let's talk about it...let's be open and honest and see that we are not alone. WHO IS WITH ME???? :) Please "reply all" when responding so we can all be a part of this. If you do not want to be a part of this...please let me know and I will take your name off the list.

I love all of you so much...you have no idea how full my life is because of all of you...

Deborah


Group,
I'm in.  It's taken me over 40 years to learn how to be kind to myself and I still sometimes find myself saying the nastiest things to me.  If I heard anyone say to someone else what I say to myself I'd probably punch them in the nose.  So, I totally get it.
Mary

Group,

Wow! That is something I did not even think about. If someone said the nasty things we say to ourselves...to a friend, mom, daughter, father, son, etc. we would be furious !!!! Great point. We must pay attention to our own self-talk.
 I would like to start this off by asking a question that I would love all of you to answer...

"When was the first time you were aware of feeling your  negative body image?"

Deborah

Group,

When was the first time you were aware of feeling your  negative body image?"

Hi guys, Sara here. The first time for me was when I was 5 years old. My mom took me to a gymnastics class (in South Carolina). I was a cute kid, maybe a little pudgy, but what 5 year old isn't? Anyway, I wore a second hand black leotard and probably had a kool-aid mustache and goofy pigtails in. I was hanging out next to the foam pit. A little teeny tiny blond girl, the same age, wearing a pink sparkly leotard came up to me. She poked me in the tummy and in a sing-song voice said, "You are fat, you are fat!!!" She kept singing it and laughing and taunting me. She made the other kids join in. They all sang it. 

Sara 

Group,

Wow Sara! I am sure I am not the only one who just got a pit in my stomach...a tear in my eye...and a gasp in my throat. Isn't it amazing how we remember these things from years ago...the bad things said to us. I also had a dance teacher tell me I was having a "BigMac attack" because my stomach was so big. I always felt HUGE...and when I look back at pictures...I was a cute little girl, too. Chubby...but cute...and just the right size for a little girl. Thank you for the story...anyone else??? Hugs...

Deborah

Group,

Hey, it is Nancy. I  wanted to respond quick to the negative body image issue too……I have always been heavy.  When I was a kid I remember having to shop in the “Husky” section, yes the jeans if you remember were regular sizes and Husky sizes.  This question is hard for me because even though I knew I was fat I never really felt bad about myself and it was never a real issue in my life.  I chalk that up to the fact that the people around me are amazing, I knew my parents wanted me to be healthy but they never made me feel bad about myself and I always knew I was loved.   The first time I decided to get real serious about losing weight was when I was 28 and my size 20 pants weren’t fitting anymore and it was time to go up to the 22, and then I went to the Doctor and weighed in at 272 on their scale…..OUCH!  At that point I knew something had to change and it was probably the first time I felt really negative about myself and my body. 

One other thing about me…..denial is probably one of my favorite states.  In my world if you don’t acknowledge it isn’t there or isn’t happening.  So, I spent a large part of my life in denial about my health and my body.  So, yet another thing I’m working on.  Over the last year (almost happy anniversary Deb  ) Deb has dug in and made me think about some things and start to acknowledge and deal with some of the emotions and thoughts.  As they say, this is truly a process most people have issues that they don’t even realize that are contributing to their weight problems.  I’m happy to say I’m a work in progress…..I still think emotions suck for the record though!

Group,

As I sit here and see all of your emails...I again have goose bumps! Having you all take the time to write these emails...to share your emotions..to be so honest...it is exactly what I was hoping would happen...so thank you!

 First off...I must express that I have a problem with...and always have...the F-word...not fuck...FAT!!!! I will never tell you guys what to say or not too say...but when I hear someone call themselves fat...or someone else...it makes me sad. Just my input!!!

Deborah

Do you eat yogurt? Have you looked at the ingredients? Is it "Deb Approved?"

If your yogurt says, "sugar, high fructose corn syrup, evaporated cane juice, brown sugar, maple syrup, molasses, agave nectar, maltodextrin, splenda, sucrose or honey," I recommend that you try making  my "Deb Approved" version without any added sugar/chemicals. I know it is more work and is not as easy to take to work but if you make a big bowl of it, you can put it in little Tupperware containers and take them with you to work/gym, etc. It will last at least a whole week,  if not more,  in the refrigerator. The added sugars (please let me know if you find a flavored non-fat yogurt WITHOUT added sugar) is only going to make your body crave more sugar and it  could leave you more hungry than when you started eating it. I am not against a small amount of stevia (a root that is being used as a natural sweetner), at this point, but that could change as more research comes out about the product. I also recommend the non-fat due to the high amount of saturated fat in the 2% and full-fat yogurt. So, if you want to go with a very clean (no added sugar, chemicals, bad fats) yogurt, try my "Deb Approved"  yogurt parfait. Please let me know what you think!!!
Deborah

Heather's Food Log #11- How much olive oil/salad dressing should I use? Is coffee a treat?

Hey Heather,

I do try to see the positive sides of life and struggles, etc. but I also try to be realistic...and when I see how much you have and are improving...and how hard you are working at this...and how much you want it...yet, I l know you have forces greater than you also pushing on you (depression/chemical imbalances)...I need you to see what I see...because I know how hard you can be on yourself (I am the same way with myself) and we need to make sure to see all the good sides...I know you are seeing them as well...but I am just going to share what I see from my side...and I see so much good in what you are doing. I KNOW...sappy...but soooo true!!! :)

Right????? Goddess dressing???? Good enough to drink!!! So...I have learned that olive oil and the dressings can get a little out of hand. I have a heavy hand with them, too and I realized a while ago that if I just drizzle...instead of pour...it actually is just as tasty and does not need much more. I use sea salt, garlic, pepper, etc. and that makes it even better. So, just see if you can drizzle and find the amount that is tasty without a heavy pour. Also, the goddess dressing comes in a "lite" BUT I think it is just that they added more water because it comes out kinda gloppy...but it is half the calories than the regular...just sayin'...heheee. I would stick with the regular one and just use the drizzle method.

So...If I asked you to not have a treat every day...but once a week...what would you say? If I asked you to have a treat every day but just in the early afternoon...what would you say? if I asked you if you are someone who is better off having a treat everyday...or once a week...or just staying away from them until special occasions...what would you say?

Deborah

Deborah,

I think the hardest part of the "treats" is the coffee. If I didn't count coffee as a treat, then I could totally do once a week. But is that going to mess up the whole system? It's just hard to think about coffee once a week, and then no other treats. 

9am - 2pcs Ezekiel bread w/ PB

12pm - Lara bar 

1:30pm - vanilla latte 

2:00pm - handful of almonds to tide me over since I'd be late on my next meal 

4:00pm - quinoa bowl w/ beans, kale, tomatoes, hummus and goddess dressing. 

6:00 coffee w/ 2% milk and a little sugar (Sam's aunt's special coffee) 

7:00pm - handful of almonds 

10:00pm - 2 hard-boiled eggs 

Heather

Heather,

Did today's food work for you with feeling satisfied and satiated? It seemed a little light on food...but if you felt satisfied and satiated...then that is great!!!

Coffee is not a bad treat...it is what we put in the coffee!!! Have you tried liquid stevia drops? I wonder if that with whole milk and vanilla extract would taste good? If you find something like that where you can enjoy the taste and feel satisfied...that would be great. If not...let's keep playing around with coffee ideas. Does it have to be hot?

Deborah

Deborah,

Yeah I felt great today. Lunch especially was really filling. I even deep cleaned my whole house, so I was moving-- but not hungry. I mean I was hungry when my meal times came, but didn't feel un-fulfilled. When I'm sleeping in later it's weird to have such a late lunch, and then eat a big dinner. 

If I make coffee at home, it's super easy to make it normal and have some almond milk. That's great. It's when I want a latte from my favorite shop. I can try with 2% milk (all they have) and do the stevia drops instead of vanilla. Is that a "non-treat"?

Heather

Heather,

That is great that you felt so good and had good energy...I love hearing that!!! And...hungry when you were supposed to be...how cool is that???? heheheeee. :)

Yes...a regular coffee with 2% milk and stevia drops is a normal coffee...I have one every morning and I love it!!! I hope you like it...and can feel like it is a treat...even though it is just a good ole' coffee. I am so excited to see you tomorrow...sweet dreams...

Deborah

Why I Eat The Same Thing Every Night For Dinner

Yes, this is how I buy my broccoli. In bulk. And frozen. Why? Because I eat a bag of broccoli a night along with a good amount of lean protein (mostly chicken) seasoned with olive oil, garlic and sea salt. And I eat that pretty much every night. Why? Because, for me, it is so much easier to know ahead of time that I have a base of excellent nutrients (broccoli) along with good protein (chicken) and good fat (olive oil and MCT oil.) This process, for me, eliminates the anxiety of trying to figure out what to eat when I get home. Having the frozen broccoli always ready in my freezer (research shows that frozen fruits and vegetables are just as nutrient dense as fresh and sometimes even better depending on how long the fresh produce has been sitting in the store) and having prepared the chicken over the weekend for the week allows me to relax each night. Do I get bored eating the same thing each night? Of course!!! So, what do I do??? Here is my theory: broccoli covers the nutrients and chicken covers my protein, so that is my base which stays the same. THEN, to make sure I do not get bored, I change the TASTE/FLAVOR. I have realized by my own experience and with my clients, the key to not getting bored is changing flavor and taste. When I come home, I ask myself, "What do my taste buds want?" Now, the way I prepare my chicken and broccoli is not going to win any prizes for presentation but it tastes great. I put the bag of chopped broccoli in a bowl and microwave for 5 minutes. I do not use water and I do not overcook it. You can steam it in a steamer, too. I chop a large chicken breast and put that in the bowl with the broccoli. Then comes the fun part, I choose one of the following:

1. Olive oil (MCT oil,) garlic powder, sea salt

2. Olive oil (MCT oil,) milled flax seed, sea salt 

3. Annie's "goddess" dressing

4. Sun dried tomatoes in garlic and olive oil, sea salt

5. Jalapeño slices, olive oil (MCT oil,) chopped tomato, garlic powder, sea salt

6. Non-fat plain Greek yogurt, olive oil (MCT oil,) garlic powder, sea salt, lemon juice. This is like a creamy tzatziki sauce.

7. Trader Joe's Tuscan Italian salad dressing

8. Annie's shiitake mushroom vinaigrette

I have been made fun of how I eat for years. But I know what works for me and how to keep my body functioning on the right "fuel." If I have too many choices, it is overwhelming. Keeping it simple, tasty and convenient is what works for me. And with my clients, I help them find what works for them. That is the key to making this work for a lifetime. Find the way to eat healthy and enjoy the process, FOR YOU. I am here to help, so please leave your questions and thoughts.

One Solution For Making Sure You Are Fueled And Ready To Go...

Hey Fabulous Followers,
I have a new personal training client who is looking to build lean muscle, burn body fat, have more energy and get as healthy and fit as possible. She is turning 50 in 2 years and knows it is time to make some positive changes in her health and lifestyle. I told her how important it is to come to our training sessions fueled with "deb approved" food, making sure some of it was good protein which will feed and grow her lean muscle. I told her that muscle is where our fat is burned, so we want to make sure to give our bodies what it needs to build and maintain the beautiful, lean muscle so our bodies become fat-burning machines. She texted me 5 hours before her appointment and said she would make sure to come "fueled and ready to go." Guess what??? We were 5 minutes into our session and when I asked her what she ate, she looked at me with these wide, open eyes and gasped, "oh, darn...I forgot to eat!!!" She got sooooooo busy at work that she just ran right over to the gym and did not have time to stop and get something to eat. So, here is the point to this blog post: PUT "DEB APPROVED" NON-PERISHABLE  FOOD IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR. OR IN YOUR GYM BAG AND HAVE IT THERE  AT ALL TIMES!!!! I have been doing this for years. It has saved me millions of times from stopping at a store and having to waste my money on something full of sugar and crap just to get some "fuel." And/or going to my workout/anywhere on an empty stomach and having all the bad effects later from not being correctly fueled. Here is a picture from yesterday after my workout. My car might be a little messy but it is full of "deb approved" good fuel for my body. Do you want more ideas for "deb approved" fuel to keep in your car?" Or do you have ideas you want to share? I would love to hear them!!!