MONDAY MORNING POST: RAW EMOTION- JANET'S EXTREME PAIN OVER FEELING FAT.

WARNING: I APOLOGIZE IF ANYONE IS OFFENDED BY THE "F" WORD. I PURPOSELY DID NOT REMOVE IT BECAUSE IT EMPHASIZES THE PAIN AND FRUSTRATION  BOTH JANET AND I FELT. THE FIRST PART IS JANET'S STREAM OF CONSCIENCE FROM HER PHONE. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT I READ THAT MORNING. THIS EMAIL EXCHANGE NEEDED TO STAY EXACTLY AS IT WAS WRITTEN, "F" WORDS AND ALL. I KEEP THE FOOD LOGS USED IN MY BLOG EXACTLY HOW I RECEIVED THEM, ONLY CHANGING ALL NAMES AND SOMETIMES ADDING THE NAME BRAND OF A PRODUCT.  JANET'S VOICE NEEDS TO BE HEARD AS I HEARD IT THAT DAY.

Deborah,

and i realize how fucked up i am.  to put this into context, right after i had my second baby josh and when we really started working hard and you initially weighed and measured me, i weighed 187.  ii weighed myself on 7/30 and weighed 182.7 (i would never admit any of this to anyone else).  i told myself that if i could get into the 170s today i would be happy.  when i woke up my wedding ring was tight and i was immediately anxious that this would affect my weight.  before i got pregnant and i was working with you i weighed 163.  i have a fucking lot of weight to lose.  so i weighed myself and i weigh 180.2.  and i was pissed.  less than three pounds in a month of very very hard work.   i weighed myself at orange theory and after the class (super hard class btw) i weighed myself again.  i fucking weighed myself again hoping i would get a different answer!!!!!!!!  i weighed 180.1.  and told myself i would be happy with anything at 179.9 or below.  i shit you not i'm so upset and even feel and look fatter b/c of .2 pounds!!!!  if i told my husband  this, which i would not, he would say that i could take a shit and lose that much.  so i decided to confess to you b/c you are truly the only one that understands this, even if you are shaking your head b/c you told me not to, you still get it. 

so here is my list of reasons to NOT be upset. 

1) you always tell me muscle weighs more than fat.  i personally think this is a bullshit thing that people say when they are fat.  and also i had a lot of muscle when i was working with you and weighed much less, but i know i have gained muscle this month.  but again, i really don't put much belief in this.

2) my $7 jeans that I bought when i could barely zip up, now zip up and i was able to actually wear them out

3) i know that my arms and shoulders are more defined and my face is thinner

4) i fit into a dress that i couldn't before.  it's tight, but it fits. 

5) i can not work out anymore than i do.  i have really committed and really worked hard as fuck this month.  i can tell that i am stronger and can sprint faster and can run longer.

6) i know that i am not starving myself, which i could do.  I know that i am eating healthy and setting a good example for my kids.  if i cut out more food it would be unhealthy and i would be hungry and a bitch.  

that's all i got.  yes i'm trying to talk myself into being positive.  yes i know this will take time.  but for fucks sake this is ridiculous.  yes i know i should not weigh myself again.  i'm waiting for your "i told you so" email back :)

i do not want to define myself or my life like this.  one step forward and two back. 

love you - thanks for being my therapist.  
Janet



Janet,
Ohhhhhhhhh fuck, fuck, fuck , fuck!!!!!!! I KNOW how you feel about the number...even though I told you not to weigh yourself...I KNOW how much this fucked you up...and how much you want to just give the fuck up...and how you feel like you have no control because you are doing everything you should be doing...even switching meds..even giving up the peanut butter...even working out more. FUCK!!!!!!! I am at a lose for words...and I hate myself for that...because I want to give you a reason...I want to say it is not the same scale...I want to say...there is something wrong with your thyroid. But the only thing I can say is that the 6 reasons you gave NOT to be upset...are amazing...and all so true...and that is what you should focus on...but I know that it does not take away the total feelings of fucked up shit that we put ourselves through to feel better about our bodies...and when it does not happen...how fucked up we feel. FUCK!!!! That is all I have to say. Where do you go from here? What are your thoughts of how you are going to 
continue...or not? Can your 6 reasons take over the FUCK feeling...right now...or soon??? I love you so much...
Deborah

Deborah,
I don't see what choice I have or what else to change. I have to just keep on keeping on. I can't workout anymore than I do. I can't cut out any more food. I don't know what else to do. I really don't 
Janet



Janet,
Don't hate me... But I asked those questions because I wanted the answer you just gave me. Keep on doing what you are doing. Something I am aware of is that if this were 2 or 3 years ago, you would not have been able to list ANYTHING to not be upset about. In the time we have worked together on your workouts and your nutrition, you have grown. Today, you might not be able to step back and see that change. But, I do. 2 or 3 years ago you might have just said "fuck this shit" and ran to the nearest store and eaten 3 boxes of cookies. Today you see that does not work anymore. You still feel as shitty and WANT to give up but the growth is in the actions. You decided to write to me and talk about it and release the pain with me instead of releasing it by acting out.  I know this is so fucking frustrating... But being strong... Defined... With extra endurance is such a bonus. Remember the 7$ jeans... Keep putting them on... And remember they did not fit last time. I love you!!!
Deborah

Deborah,

Why would I hate you? Goodness. I am trying to keep things into perspective. Even when I was hardcore on weightwatchers the most I lost in a month was five pounds. And that was counting everything and being obsessive. So I guess three pounds in a month is slow as fuck but better than gaining or not losing. 

Also trying to remember that I didn't gain this weight bc I was sitting on my ass being lazy. But also trying to not tell Josh that he made me fat (like my mom always told me). 

At least I am going in the right direction. I guess. Trying to just keep on with what I'm doing bc I'm not going to eat like shit or stop exercising. I'm extra blasted today (two bean meals yesterday so that's not really helping my mental state either. Plus I didn't sleep well. 

Janet

MONDAY MORNING POST: SHOULD THE ACRONYM, BMI, BE CHANGED TO "BRING MORE INFORMATION?"

SHOULD THE ACRONYM, BMI, BE CHANGED TO "BRING MORE INFORMATION?"

My wonderful followers,

After I posted my opinions on FB (see the post after the comments below.) I noticed that it was reached by 1,415 people. To me, that means that we can help a lot of mom's and dad's and ourselves by spreading the awareness of finding a solution to having shame involved using the BMI index/scale weight, etc. We have been hearing that it is up to us as individuals to bring our own questions into the doctor's offices. We need to be prepared with lists of our symptoms/issues because time is limited and doctors are so busy that we must advocate for ourselves and our children at the doctor. Here is an email I got from a friend (all names have been changed) 5 minutes after I posted this on FB. I am so glad that this mom knew to ask what to do when faced with taking her daughter to the doctor for a annual check-up. I have met her daughter and she is extremely active, she eats a wonderful combination of healthy foods and

treats and she is funny and witty and outgoing and far from being unhealthy. She is taller than the average girl her age, with a larger frame than the average girl her age and she is happy and outgoing. If she was based on the numbers on the BMI or scale, she would probably be in the "overweight" or more category. Here is where everything in her life could change. If the doctor tells her the same thing that was told to these last two kids, she, too, could leave feeling like she cannot eat any treats without getting fat. And her body-image and self-esteem could be totally tarnished and scarred. Please BMI-Bring More Information- to the doctor's office.

Deborah - thanks for posting this. Kate's annual exam is coming up and given that she is so tall for a 10 year old, I have worried about what the doctor will say about her weight (especially in front of her). Any recs you have on how to coach the doctor would be most appreciated.

Pam

Pam,

I love that you are thinking ahead!!! It is such a shame that you even should think this way but you are being very wise. I would call the doctor's office ahead of time, or send an email directly to your doctor, and let them know that you do not want ANY discussion about weight/BMI/food/exercise. You can tell them that if they MUST weigh her or do a BMI to just do it but not to talk about it. Tell Kate that they just use it as a guide for her in the next few years but it is not important. You can tell the doctor what YOU feed her and what KATE does for exercise but tell the doctor that you talk to Kate all the time about healthy living. Let her know that her GRANDMA (my wonderful 64-year-old client) exercises with weights 4-5 days a week and makes smoothies and healthy food with

Kate all the time together. So, I guess my point is, let your doctor know that you have the issues covered and if Kate has any questions, she will ask them on her own. But please do not talk about numbers, weight loss, BMI, etc. with Kate. She can email you after the appointment if she has anything further to say to Mom. Big hugs to you!!!!!!

Deborah

From another friend:

Deborah, It’s sad! Obviously, their health needs to constantly checked like everyone else (duh! 😜) but I know our pedi takes it with a grain of salt. Hers was high this last time bc she's due for a growth spurt so he just encouraged daily play, aka exercise, and gave me tips for being inside for the summer months. I asked him more in depth and he rolled his eyes and gave me a speech about how more pedis need to "know their patients" so they can properly do their job (i.e. Knowing when it's a real problem) bc most are becoming too lazy and are just dishing out tests without looking at their patients as a whole. Can you tell we love Dr Mike 😜 But I agree, this 1 scale cannot and should not determine our health! Btw, as a gymnast I've always been "overweight" bc I'm short and muscular.

😳Nancy

From another friend:

Deborah,

Why don't we start talking about how we "feel" in our bodies instead of how we look on the outside? In my work, I see many "fit" people who can't connect or feel their bodies. I bet this 7year old feels strong! Why not talk about that? I've always been little and being a gymnast when I

was young built solid heavy bone mass. I've always weighed more than I look and haven't owned a scale in 30 years. And beyond we'll-checks when my boys were babies I didn't do annuals even though insurance covered it. Mom's (in general) have stronger instincts and know what's best for their kids. I'm with you on this one on many levels (and don't get me started on what they tell adults about "well that's just aging...)" No!

Angie

MY FACEBOOK POST:

Please Understand that I am upset...more than upset, I am totally disappointed in what is happening in doctor's offices. I need some input from the medical community to explain and help me understand why this is still happening. Here is what is making my blood boil. Please read all the following: Here is an interaction from 2014:

Nov 2014....Food Print for Life...This is exactly what I am talking about when I ask my clients to throw their scales out the window. We cannot rely on numbers from a chart or on the scale to tell us if we are healthy human beings. And most doctors are the ones who fail to look at the whole picture...do they ask us how our eating is? Do they ask us if we are active? Do they ask us anything before they tell us we are "obese" because of a number on the charts or scales? This is outrageous and needs to be changed!!!

MIMI

This is my son. Yesterday his doctor told me that since his BMI is above the 85 percentiles, we will need to check his thyroid and his glucose levels. I told her she was crazy! His height and weight are proportionate. He is an

active 4-year-old who is very tall for his age. I pretty much said that I will not have my child defined by an arbitrary scale that takes your height times some number divided by some other number as an indicator that my son is obese. According to those calculations Michael Jordan is obese. It's time for us to take a stand and stop this insanity! There will be no tests.

THIS WAS POSTED 3 DAYS AGO...2017...FROM TERRY (NAME CHANGE AND PICTURES WERE APPROVED BY TERRY, SEE BELOW)

"Opinions please! I took my daughter who is 7 for her annual physical. I am 5'9 and her father is 6'3. She is obviously very tall for her age. Well, the doctor had a discussion with me in front of her (trying to be discreet but unsuccessful, about her weight and bmi). I was taken aback. She is only 7! I do not want her stressing about body image at her age. My daughter does gymnastics, played soccer, will swim all day and night if I let her. She can play outside and on a playground for hours. Obviously, I am conscious of what we eat, but she's a kid. She can have cake at a birthday party, she can have ice cream in the summer, I won't deprive her of fun. The doctor asked her what was in her lunchbox that day (of course it was the last day of school so there was a treat in there!). She asked what she eats for breakfast, if she's active. My 7-year-old left that visit and said 'Mommy I can't eat any of that stuff anymore I'll be fat.'

I felt like a failure and felt judged.

What do you all think? Too much at such a young age? It even had a notation about bmi on the paper we take home! My daughter is tall and solid, and strong and active. The last thing I want is her to worry about

this stuff at 7! I'm trying to set a positive example by being active, eating healthy and having the fun stuff in moderation."

.

ANOTHER POST FROM ME TO THIS POST:

Hey TERRY,

I have been thinking about this all day and I am just so pissed off that the issues I have had, myself, with body-image and food and weight are now being "GIVEN" to young boys and girls from DOCTORS!!!!! The BMI is totally BARBARIC and has not been changed in years. When they created this insanity (BMI,) it was way back in the days that most women did not lift weights and exercise and everything was about the scale and numbers because back then, the majority of WOMEN DID NOT WANT MUSCLES and did not know that muscles were very important to build and that would cause everything to change in the numbers. Would you mind ( I will never use real names, etc.) if I use your post to write a blog/FB post? I also would like to share it with one of my clients who is a doctor. The number of clients I have worked with over the years who have had children or themselves fat-shamed at THE DOCTORS is outrageous. I hope that you have moved passed this and I am sorry if I am bringing back the feelings but I want to be able to start changing this issue and your input would help. If anything can come out of this horrible situation, maybe it is

bringing the awareness to the medical community to stop damaging our children and ourselves. Thank you for letting me go on my rant!!!!!!

DEBORAH

I SAW PICTURES OF THIS 7-YEAR-OLD GIRL. SHE IS FAR, FAR AWAY FROM BEING OVERWEIGHT/OBESE/CLOSE-TO-BEING-OVERWEIGHT, ETC. SHE LOOKS SO STRONG, HAPPY, HEALTHY AND ENERGETIC. HER LEGS ARE MUSCULAR AND SHE HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE TUSH. NOT ONE SINGLE THING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU GO, HMMMMMM. 

Deborah Stern has been counseling her clients with a holistic and realistic approach to healthy eating and exercise for the past 25 years. After doing Jazz and Modern dance from age 3-22, she discovered aerobics and weight training. She was hooked and spent most of her time in the gym and/or studying nutrition and learning about the proper ways to exercise and to eat correctly to reach her goals. Deborah struggled with her own body image and food issues and realized she wanted to help other men, women and children who struggle with the same issues. Through her own trial and errors,

experimenting with all types of "diets" and fads, she finally found what worked for her and her clients. Educating her clients about food as fuel, not as a diet but how to eat correctly to allow the body to function properly, became Food Print for Life. Deborah works with all ages and genders. Some of her clients have never working out and some are training for triathlons. She works with people all over the country who want to discover new, healthy, easy and tasty ways of eating, doing phone nutrition sessions. This is Deborah’s passion and it shows. Her clients have made incredible changes to their mind, bodies and spirits.

MONDAY MORNING POST: UPON MY (DEBORAH'S) REQUEST, JENNIFER STARTED HER OWN BLOG TO SHARE HER PAIN, AWARENESS AND TRUTH ABOUT WEIGHT GAIN/LOSS. WHY DID SHE LOSE 80 LBS? WAS HER NEW RELATIONSHIP TO BLAME FOR GAINING THE WEIGHT BACK? WHAT DID SHE DO TO BE HEALTHIER AND STRONGER?

Jennifer's Journey...

"I have to say I am very happy to be here, on the road to a healthier and fitter me, but as good as I feel, as much energy as I have, I cannot help but think about where I have been.

About 4 years ago, I lost a lot of weight. About 80 pounds. The scale teetered at a long time goal of mine. This was not all the weight I needed to lose, but a very significant amount. I was in my junior year of college and in the smallest size clothing, that I can ever remember. I was wearing a size 16 jeans, that I had altered to be even smaller. So a true size I cannot exactly pinpoint. In the last 3 years I have not been able to get this jeans over my knees (you know the “skinny” type). I still have these jeans. I periodically take them off the hanger and look at the waist, and it is hard to believe that I was actually that “small”.  I know my upper body was a size 12. I have a black party dress that I have also not let go, that for one summer I never took the dress off. It was my everything. I remember going to a friends party one night, wearing this cute black dress, my yellow chuck Taylor's and a yellow clip in my hair. I had rode my bike that night. This is the night it was deemed my “party dress”, I felt fantastic.

I still have it hanging in my closet, as well. With the hopes of one day being about the wear it again, and being able to use it as a pattern and make different colors of this favorite dress. The last time these pieces of clothing really fit, I was on a girls trip with my friend Alina. We had went to Los Angeles to visit our friend Amber and taken a road trip to Vegas. In that trip alone I believe I gained 10 pounds, getting off the plane and going straight to In and Out Burger and then a taco truck (who does that :)?),and then it happened.

Upon coming back to Chicago I met Matt. I met Matt, this great, caring, and compassionate man, whom believed in the success of me, whom was inspired by my sewing space in the middle of my then apartment. I was in love.

I look back at this now, and I think about many different things. One, I was losing weight for the purpose of finding a man. I was losing weight because it was the next natural goal in my life. I was conquering school, I was surrounded by good people, and was excited about my future. So naturally or not so naturally, I let myself go. Matt took me to wonderful dinners, we ordered out, all the time. He provided a “sexy co-ed” as he called me with more than rice, beans, and tofu. My weight gain is not his fault, but my own. I met a man that loves me for me, no matter what. So naturally I spent more time with him than I did going to the gym. We have been together for a 34 months, and in these months, I have steadily gained weight.

I tried to justify it. I blamed new birth control for my weight gain, but it took awhile to actually come to grips that it was the sausage pizza and take out meals that helped pack the pounds back on. I was comfortable. Matt and I moved in together a year ago. The road has been filled with twist and turns. In this last year, a lot has happened. Our relationship has been tested, and we have come out stronger and closer together.

Last winter, I have to say was a turning point for me. In January of 2011, I turned 30. I spent the rest of the winter being “doom and gloom”. I was lost. I was not happy with my career choice, I was trying to figure out how to make sewing and clothing my way of life. I spent more time over-thinking my current situation and laying on the couch at all times, than I did on actually doing something. Although, this year I vowed to myself that I cannot spend this winter as I did the last. I cannot continue to beat myself up, but I actually have to do something. I have to create the path I want to be on.

This way of thinking is what promoted getting back in the gym and eating right. Matt constantly tells me he loves me for me, which is wonderful, but one day I had to look at him and say,” I do not love me for me”.

I did not love what I have let myself become. I did not love that if I stayed on that path where my future may take me. I was finally ready to do something about it. To take hold of my life and be in control. Not let the weight control me.

I feel that this body armor I am carrying, is the last thing holding me back. It deters me for trying to get the jobs I so want, it deters me from grasping on to my talent and taking that wherever it may lead me. It also deters me from being me.

I can say, that where I am sitting right now, feels fantastic. Yesterday, was not only a weigh-in day, but it was the first day of the rest of my life.

I am proud of myself for getting to this point. I am proud of the way I feel. I am proud that at work last night, even though I worked into after midnight, I was flowing with energy, and my bar patrons where flowing with laughter. I am proud that I have been able to step away from the stigma of being overweight, because I am doing something about it. I am also proud of the doors taking this step can offer in the future.

Matt is one of my biggest supporters, and I am grateful for that, and all of my friends and family.

I am also grateful that I joined the West Loop Athletic Club, as well as being even more grateful for picking Deborah as my trainer. Deb added fuel to the flame that was barely producing heat, and has helped me realize that my dream of being a fitter and happier Jennifer  is truly possible.

To all of you reading this out there. Please “weigh-in” with me. I know the subject matter is sensitive, although, I am hoping I can inspire someone, as I have been inspired, and learn and discover new things.

As I was writing in this, these lyrics where playing in my head. Most of this is true for me, but most of all it just makes sense."

“fitter, happier, more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car 
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
charity standing orders
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on Sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tires that grip in the wet 
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that’s driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive”

-Radiohead

MONDAY MORNING POST: MATT'S FIRST FEW FOOD LOGS. IS HE EATING ENOUGH? WHY DID I ASK HIM TO THROW AWAY HIS VEGGIE BURGERS? WHAT CHANGES DID HE MAKE TO START BURNING MORE FAT AND BUILDING MORE MUSCLE?

Hi Deb,
Here's today's food log:

6:30a: oatmeal, berries, Morningstar Sausage

 (Side note from Deborah as I write this blog post. I told Matt I do not agree with the Morningstar veggie products because they are full of way too many processed ingredients. Here they are: 

"Water, wheat gluten, soy protein concentrate, corn oil, soy flour, egg whites, sodium caseinate, modified tapioca starch, contains two percent or less of soy protein isolate, soybean oil, lactose, spices, methylcellulose, autolyzed yeast extract, natural and artificial flavors, sodium tripolyphosphate, salt, modified corn starch, hydrolyzed wheat gluten, caramel color, disodium inosinate, crushed red pepper, whey, hydrolyzed corn gluten, red bell peppers, hydrolyzed soy protein, potassium chloride, dextrose, onion powder, disodium guanylate, tetrasodium pyrophosphate, tricalcium phosphate, hydrolyzed wheat protein, sodium hexametaphosphate, succinic acid, niacinamide, monosodium phosphate, lactic acid, brewer's yeast, torula yeast, calcium phosphate, soy lecithin, iron (ferrous sulfate), magnesium carbonate, vitamin B1 (thiamin mononitrate), vitamin B6 (pyridoxine hydrochloride), vitamin B2 (riboflavin), vitamin B12. "   I REST MY CASE!!!

And, soy protein isolate is horrible for your digestive system. Mike told me he wanted to finish the Morningstar in his freezer and then would switch to my suggestion. Here are the ingredients for Amy's "Deb Approved" Sonoma burger:

"organic quinoa, organic mushrooms, organic onions, gluten free oats, filtered water, organic walnuts, organic celery, organic carrots, organic garbanzo flour, organic potatoes, sea salt, expeller pressed high oleic safflower and/or sunflower oil, organic garlic.)"

9:30a: plain Greek yogurt, apple
12p: 1/2 pouch quinoa, 1/2 can of chick peas, 1 serving tofu
3p: Lara bar, Vega protein shake
7:30p (dinner out): scallops with beets, acorn squash, peppers...and another veg I can't remember. Not potato.
Question on dinners. As a quick option are veggie burgers ok for dinner if brown rice or quinoa are in the ingredients? Or should I avoid those at night as well?
Matt

Hey Matt,

Your food seemed kind of light today. Just be careful because even though you might feel okay, if your body does not get enough fuel/good calories/nutrients it can backfire in the next day or two. I would keep adding nuts to the yogurt and for lunch have the whole can of beans (even with the tofu) and have at least 3/4 quinoa pouch.

If you can avoid the starch at night, that is the best way to feel good and energized in the morning and to avoid extra body fat. If you are out to eat and that is the only healthy option, that is a time where it is a good choice.

I just spent some time looking online for a veggie burger without starch. UGH!!!! I could not find one...I am still going to look. 

Deborah

Deb,
Don't worry about the veggie burger without starch, I was just curious.
My food was a little light yesterday. I was ok during the day, but dinner left me a bit hungry. Here's my food for today:

6:30a: oatmeal w/ peanut butter & berries, Morningstar

9:30a: plain Greek yogurt with walnuts and apricots

12p: tofu, broccoli rice, 1/2 can of garbanzos and an Apple

3p: Lara bar, walnuts

6:30p: can of tuna with Tahiti, kale salad, broccoli rice

8p: apple & peanut butter (first time I've had a craving for something sweet, and was still a bit hungry)
Matt

Matt,
Here is what I would like you to do at this point. Your body is now ready and craving more good calories and if you do not feed it more you will start to hold on to your fat and burn your muscle. If you do not want that to happen here is what you need to do:

Double your portion of protein at each meal. Because you are getting hungry later in the day and now having sugar cravings... That means you are not eating correctly anymore because your body is changing. So, please take my suggestion and double the protein at each meal. I am curious to know about the morning star... Do you have a lot left? I hope I do not sound bossy... I just want to make sure you reach your goals and feel great!!!!!
Deb

Deb,
Here's my food for today:

7:30a: 4 egg whites, tofu, Morningstar, 2 slices Ezekiel wheat toast

11a: plain Greek yogurt, peanut butter, walnuts, dried apricots

1p: 2 black bean burgers, kale salad

4p: protein shake, walnuts, dried apricots 

7:30p: chopped salad with garbanzo beans, chicken breast, spinach
Matt

Matt,
Holy Cow!!!!!! THIS is exactly what I was talking about!!!! What a perfect day of eating!!! 

Okay, now that I got that out of the way...how did you feel? Were you too full?

I hope you felt great. I feel great reading this...:)
Deb

Deb,
Thanks! How did I feel... breakfast I was stuffed. Almost uncomfortably full. I worked out after but wasn't running so it was ok. The rest of the day was fine. Dinner I probably could have gone for more chicken, but in general felt good.
Matt

Matt,
Okay, so here is what I recommend:

Please try to stick with the amount of food you ate yesterday. Your body will get used to the breakfast and will get hungrier as the days go on because it will start expecting that amount of food each morning. And I am so glad that you noticed you could have had more chicken at dinner...please add it in tonight. I know I keep saying it but I will say it again, I am very proud of you!!!
Deb

Deb
Thanks, here's my food for today:

8a: oatmeal w/berries and walnuts, morningstar (last one).

11a: Vega protein shake, walnuts, dried apricots

1:30p: whole quinoa pouch, can of tuna,  1/2 can of garbanzo beans

4:30p: plain Greek yogurt with dried apricots

7:30p: 2 pieces of cod and chopped salad
Matt

Matt,
Perfect, perfect and perfect!!!!! One thing to pay attention to: If you feel hungry after the yogurt and fruit, just add some nuts to the mixture. Sometimes the natural sugar in the yogurt and the natural sugar in the fruit can lead to a hunger and some sugar cravings...so just pay attention to this and then you will know what to do if it happens. AWESOME job!!!!
Deb

WOW...THAT ANXIETY LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!!!

To my dear friend in the locker room, you know who you are:

Thank you for being so honest. Your honesty brought up a topic that many people might have already touched on or made themselves aware of but yesterday I saw another "twist." Here is how it started:

There is a woman whom I  have known for a while, first as a co-worker at the gym/my work  and now as a devoted and loyal member of the gym. She has a full-time job and a little boy. On the days that I show up to work at 1030am, she is always there in the locker room getting ready for work after she has finished her  workout/fitness class. We are both running around at that point but we smile or wave to each other, or sometimes not. Yesterday I came in at 1030 and she was dressed and ready to leave. I  smiled at her but had to do a double take. She was wearing a cute sleeveless top and her body looked soooooo strong and fit. Her arms were toned with amazing muscle and the definition in her muscle  looked great. I turned to her again and told her how strong and fit she looked and that I always notice that she is there all the time and working very hard in the gym and it shows. She turned to me and said, Thank you so much but let me tell you, I do this way more for my mental and emotional health than to look a certain way. 

And I just looked at her and said, "Isn't that the truth??? I just went through the weekend with a massive amount of anxiety. There was not a specific reason for the anxiety, I have had it my whole life and some days it is worse than others. I remember being in the car and on the way to the gym thinking that I couldn't get there fast enough. I knew that the only way for me to snap out of this and not let it ruin my weekend was to go to the gym and workout or go outside and jump rope. For me, putting on my music and moving my body is my form of escape/release/meditation, whatever you want to call it. This also forces me to BREATHE deeply which I think has more benefits to our minds than we can ever know. And just being in my own head space with my music, my movement and my breathing is what releases at least 50% of my anxiety. The workouts  help me release some of the negative chaos in my head and body." 

We had a good laugh at this because we both agreed that we find the "calm" we need through our workouts and how awesome is it that the benefit of the chaos in our head looks great on our bodies!!! I actually said that out loud and it stopped me in my tracks. If we take a positive spin on anxiety/depression/anger/sadness, etc. and instead of looking at all the negative effects it has on our life, we can "twist" that statement to say, what are the benefits to having some of these issues? Well, my friend, as much as I have know that, for me, I have always needed to release my anxiety through exercise in order to get through the day, I now have added a tag line to that:
My anxiety has shaped my body and has made me strong. The glass is now half full.  

MONDAY MORNING POST: CHRISTY'S FOOD LOGS ABOUT FEELING DEPRIVED, EATING AT RESTAURANTS AND HITTING A PLATEAU.

Deborah,

​So today I was feeling really deprived...wanted to go out for dinner and drinks and felt like nothing was really part of the plan. Bummed me out, so we went to whole foods and bought fancy food for a homemade surf and turf!! It wasn't totally "Deb approved" but it was much better than anything I would have eaten out

9:30 AM
Ezekiel muffin
Almond butter
Banana

11:30 AM
Protein shake

12:30-2 Silks class

3:00
Salmon hummus
Mary's gone crackers

8:00
Guacamole
Terra chips

8:30
Lobster tail
Pork chop
Panko crusted green beans

9:30
Frozen cherries

Christy

Christy,

This was a good treat day!!!
Why did you feel deprived? do you think it was withdrawals from your trip food? Do you think it was emotional? Is it your cycle? I would love to know what you think it was from...and I am very proud of you for making the choices you did, awesome!!!

Deborah

Deborah,
Unfortunately, I don't think it's any of that stuff. For me, it's really easy to be on target when I'm making food for myself at home. But sometimes I get cabin fever - I want to go out, and Unfortunately, I don't think it's any of that stuff. For me, it's really easy to be on target when I'm making food for myself at home. But sometimes I get cabin fever - I want to go out, and I feel like there are not a lot of options for dining out. 

Our usual affordable tasty stops: Taco Joint, Urban Belly, Smoke Daddy, etc all have starch in the majority of their options. A lot of times, if we're bored and want to go out, food is a fun activity. It was Saturday night, I felt like I wanted to go out, but I also felt like any place we went I wouldn't have a lot of choices that I could eat. What we did worked out well, but I still feel kind of frustrated that this avenue of going out feels really closed off to me. What sucks even more right now is that I'm doing my best to not go to these places and eat these things - and I'm still not seeing a lot of movement, from a weight and a shape perspective. I know everyone hits plateaus and I'm trying to stay positive, but it's tough sometimes, and then I want to eat. I think today's food log will demonstrate some of my restaurant struggles:

11:45 wake up

12:30 farro

poached egg

chicken sausage

zucchini

onions

bell pepper

5:45

salmon/avocado sushi roll

shrimp/cucumber/avocado/tuna sushi roll

7:45

two (very small) scoops of jeni's ice cream: dark chocolate and sweet potato marshmallow

We sent the rest of the ice cream home with our guests, so I won't be tempted to eat any later. 

Sushi is a great example of how going out can be really tough. In theory, it should be great - fresh fish! In practice, I ended up feeling kind of guilty about the small amount of rice, and wishing I could have more rice. As you can probably tell, I'm a little down lately. Hopefully this week will pick up!
Christy

Hi Christy,

I did not know that you felt you hit a plateau. I thought you had been going in the direction that you wanted...and were feeling great about the changes you were seeing and feeling in your body.

I know this past week away had put you in a very tough position...mentally and physically...so I am not sure if that is where you have been feeling the frustration...or if it was happening before that.

I KNOW and understand the frustrations in general about food/body/deprivation/overindulgence, etc. and believe me...I know how hard it is for those of us that want to feel great in our bodies...but also have attachments to food...as an emotional outlet...and as a treat...and as a way to enjoy life. It is all about finding a balance...and that can be very tricky.

Let me know if you want to go over any of the menus at the places you eat and look for some yummy options that also can satisfy you...but not leave you feeling bad about your choices. I would love to help you with that...if that is something that you would like me to do with you.

I send you love and hugs!!!

Deborah

"DEB APPROVED" VEGETARIAN RECIPES

                                    

"Deb Approved" recipes

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GRILLED TOFU & ASPARAGUS + GINGER CAULIFLOWER RICE

Ingredients

• glug of dark sesame oil
• 1 block (14 oz) firm or extra-firm tofu, drained & cut into 1 1/2 squares
• 1 bunch asparagus, ends trimmed
• 4 tablespoons tamari or soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds
• 1 package cauliflower rice or 1 large cauliflower, grated
• 1 inch piece ginger, finely grated or minced
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• mineral salt, to taste
• lemons sliced, to serve

Place the grill/griddle over the front and back burner. Heat the grill over medium – medium high heat. Using a silicon brush, coat the entire surface well with sesame oil.

In a small bowl, mix together the tamari/soy sauce and sesame seeds, set aside.

Add tofu squares to half of the grill and the asparagus to the other (I put the tofu towards the front and the asparagus to the back). Cook 5 – 7 minutes. Spoon the marinade over top the tofu, just enough to give it color. Add a little over the asparagus as well. Carefully flip the tofu and cook another 5 – 7 minutes, until golden brown on both sides. Rotate the asparagus as needed to cook evenly. Once complete turn off the heat. Add a few slices of lemon to grill to give it a grilled look, it warms the lemon and makes the juices taste delicious!

Heat a large pan or skillet over medium, add cauliflower, minced ginger, garlic powder and a pinch of mineral salt. Mix and stir until just tender, about 5 minutes.

Serve with a little squeezed lemon and a few extra toasted sesame seeds. Enjoy!

Notes:

Grate your own cauliflower: Using the large holes of a cheese/box grater, grate cauliflower. Pat ‘cauliflower rice’ with paper towels to remove any excess moisture.

I never press my tofu, I only blot it dry. The heat from the grill will remove most of the moisture making pressing unnecessary.

               

  "Deb Approved" recipes

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Spicy Lentil & Quinoa Wraps with Spicy Tahini Sauce

Lentil & Quinoa Mix

• 3/4 cup red lentils, sorted and rinsed
• 1/2 cup quinoa, rinsed
• 2 1/2 cups water, + more as needed
• 1 tablespoon grapeseed oil, optional
• 2 heaping teaspoons cumin
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon pink salt, or to taste
• 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes, optional
• 2 tablespoons chopped parsley
• 1 scallion, sliced

Spicy Tahini Sauce

• 1/4 cup tahini
• 1/2 cup water, + more as needed
• juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 tablespoon
• pinch of pink salt
• pinch of red pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley

to serve

• shredded cabbage or micro greens
• lavash bread or corn tortillas (flour tortillas work too)
• chili paste or sriracha (may fav chili paste)
• sliced avocado, for tacos (optional)

In a medium sauce pan, bring water, lentils, quinoa and oil to a boil, reduce heat to low, add in cumin, garlic & onion powder, salt and optional red pepper flakes, stir to combine, cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Remove from heat, add in chopped parsley and scallions, let rest for 10 minutes. If you feel it’s too dry, add a couple tablespoons of water. Mixture should be creamy, not dry. Add extra spices to taste.

While lentil & quinoa mix is cooking, combine all the ingredients for the sauce in a small bowl. Set aside.

For the wrap, lay your lavash bread on a flat surface. Spread a tablespoon or so of chili paste about 1 1/2 inches from the edge on the first 1/3 portion from top to bottom, leaving an inch on both ends. Layer with about 1/4 cup lentil & quinoa mix and cabbage, fold over and roll. Slice in half and serve with a drizzle of tahini sauce on each bite.

For tacos, warm your tortillas, layer with lentil & quinoa mix, micro greens or cabbage, add chili paste and tahini dressing to taste and sliced avocado.

Notes:

Feel free to use all cabbage, or any greens that you like. I have used micro greens here because I had them on hand and for variation.

Lentil & quinoa mix makes about 3 cups. Refrigerate for up to a week or freeze for longer.

Tahini sauce makes about 3/4 cup. Store in refrigerator for up to a week. Great on salads, steamed or roasted vegetables too! If you prefer it to be thicker, use less water.

If you don’t have quinoa available you can still pull this together using all lentils. 1 cup lentils to 2 1/4 cups water. If using brown/green lentils, cook at least 40-45 minutes.

            

"Deb Approved" recipes

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SMOKY LENTIL & QUINOA SOUP

Ingredients

• 1 cup lentils (french, beluga or green/brown)
• 1/2 cup quinoa
• 2 large carrots, diced 1/4″
• 2 stalks celery, diced
• 1 small onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons grapeseed or olive oil or 1/4 cup water for water saute
• 1 can (15 oz) diced tomatoes (I used fire roasted) or 2 fresh tomatoes, diced
• 6-7 cups vegetable broth or water
• 2 – 3 bay leafs
• 2 teaspoons smoked sweet paprika (if using hot use 1 teaspoon or to taste)
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme or 1 tablespoon fresh
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
• mineral salt and pepper, to taste
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• chopped parsley for garnish, optional

Rinse your lentils well and pick through removing any oddly shaped or colored lentils. Rinse quinoa using a fine mesh strainer to remove any powdery residue.

In a large pot/dutch oven, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add onions, celery, carrots and garlic, saute for 5 minutes, until onions are tender. Add smoked paprika, cumin, thyme and nutmeg, cook until fragrant, about 1 – 2 minutes. Add in tomatoes, broth, lentils, quinoa, bay leaves, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat and simmer for 40 minutes, stirring occasionally and tasting for flavor as you go. Once done, remove from heat, add balsamic vinegar and stir. Remove bay leaves before serving.

Spoon soup into serving dishes and top with optional chopped parsley. Pairs great with avocado toast!

You may like to serve this with some fresh homemade naan bread, like this one from Vegan Richa or this gluten free one from Golubka Kitchen

Soup serves 4 – 6

Notes:

Feel free to add 1 cup of quinoa instead of 1/2 cup. Just be sure to add the full 7 cups of liquids when cooking, adding more at the end if needed. You can also try using 1 1/2 cup lentils and 1/2 cup quinoa if you like.

For me, using a good vegetable broth in this soup was key to flavor. I used 4 cups of broth and 2 1/2 cups water.

Use 2 teaspoons of thyme if you don’t have any dried basil on hand.

If you’re a tomato lover, try using 1 can (28 oz) of diced tomatoes or 3-4 fresh tomatoes.

If you feel the soup is on the sweet side, add the juice of one lemon to cut the sweetness.

Enjoy!

          

"Deb Approved" recipes

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 Curried Chickpea Salad

Ingredients

• 3 cups cooked or 2 cans (15 oz.) chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained and rinsed
• 2 – 3 carrots (about 1 cup), diced
• 4 – 5 scallions/green onions (about 1 cup), sliced
• 1/2 cup raisins, dried currants or chopped dates
• 1/2 cup raw or toasted cashews
• 1/2 – 2/3 cup thinned hummus or tahini, vegan mayo would work too (see notes)
• juice of one lemon
• 1 tablespoon curry powder
• 3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• mineral salt & cracked pepper to taste

In a small bowl, combine hummus with lemon juice, curry & garlic powder and a generous pinch of salt. Blend until combined. Set aside. (If adding vinegar or maple syrup as per the notes below, add to the hummus at this time.)

In a medium mixing bowl, add chickpeas and roughly mash about 1/2 of the beans with the back of a sturdy fork or potato masher. Add in the carrots, scallions, raisins, cashews and hummus, mix well to combine. Taste for flavor adding mineral salt and cracked pepper to taste.

Serve as is, with sliced red bell peppers as scoopers, on a bed of leafy greens, with crackers or made into a Chickpea Curry Sandwich with bread of choice.

Serves 4-6.

Notes:

I love the sweetness that the dried fruit gives and could use up to 3/4 cup so each bite has a little sweetness to it. Feel free to add extra raisins, currants or dates.

If your hummus is on the thick side, thin it out with water until desired thinness. Using a small bowl add a couple rounded tablespoons of hummus with 1 tablespoon of water. Adding more of each as you go until you have a thinner hummus. Do the same if using tahini. Feel free to use more for a super creamy salad. If your measuring by tablespoons: 8 tablespoons = 1/2 cup and about 11 tablespoons = 2/3 cups (technically 10T + 2t).

You can try tweaking this recipe by adding a tablespoon or so of apple cider or white wine vinegar to the wet mixture. It will give it a slight tang. You may also like to try adding a tablespoon of pure maple syrup or other liquid sweetener of choice to add a little sweetness all around. Adjust curry, adding more or less, to suit your taste.

Try replacing the carrots with diced red bell peppers for color variation.